Blossom Still

Blossom Still

Yujian Cui

As soon as I stepped on this continent, the intense feeling of “游子“ just came into my mind. The concept of “游子“ was originally from the Book of Han. Now, it refers to people living in other countries or regions. “思乡“ might be the most involved with “游子”.

We could separate “思乡“into “思” and “乡”, “思“ means missing, and “乡” means hometown. “乡” seems to have deep and complex meanings for many Chinese. There will always be a string between us and the fuzzy sense we have for home. Even if I cross the ocean, get to another country, and learn a different culture, that indescribable emotion (here it is, 思乡) always endlessly fondles my rootless heart like the waves of the sea. How could I make you feel what I feel? I’m only a translator, and it’s hard to express those rich and endless feelings. I hope my modest expressions can build a tiny bridge between you and me:

“思乡” means seeing the moon hanging in the sky in the Mid Autumn, I know my family and I will enjoy the same moment even not at the same time.

“思乡” means the moment of a steaming dumpling in front of me, and covers a light gauze on my glasses.

“思乡” also means a wanderer in the desert, a voice from the body crying for that warm place to hide.

If you could catch a tiny tricky emotion from these sentences, then you may understand my feeling about “思乡” and “游子”.

I’m not alone. When the first group of Chinese stepped on this continent in history, they have the same feeling as me, or even stronger. They have their dreams, and reasons to stay in this land, trying to get a return through efforts, and their body also cry for a warm and safe place as home. Such kind of feeling across time, space, age, and identity tied me and them up. I try to walk through the road they use to walk and visit the town they used to live in. In this progress, I also looked at myself through the lens, and redefine the meaning of “思乡” to me.

In 1848, when the news of the discovery of gold in Sutter’s Mill spread like wildfire in the United States, China, a country on the other side of the pacific ocean also started a “gold rush”. Many Chinese had to leave their home because of the chaos of society at that time. They tried to get more opportunities from the legendary place they said was “made by gold” ---- California. However, when they got here, they realize they could only get discrimination rather than gold. Chinese could only get mining places that white people didn’t want, and couldn’t get the mining right. There was a saying called “Chinaman’s chance” which means there was almost no chance for Chinese people to succeed in mining. “Chinaman’s chance” was also quoted by West Virginia Governor Jim Justice in a public conversation.

In 1862, the US government planned to build a transcontinental railroad, one of the most important parts was starting from Sacramento, California to the center of the US. However, it passed the mountains in the west, workers always have to build the railroad in the harsh natural environment, which will risk their lives. Charles Crocker, one of the managers of the pacific railroad company suggested hiring a group of Chinese workers. Since then, white managers realized that compared with other workers, Chinese workers willed to get less payment, and are easier to control. After that, the pacific railroad company hired a huge number of Chinese workers. Chinese workers provided important help in building the pacific railroad which became one of the most important parts of the development of California.

After the completion of the railway, many Chinese workers were employed to build dams in San Joaquin Delta. That changes the environment of that area. San Joaquin Delta became an important agricultural area after that. However, the Chinese didn’t get the proper treatment. After they settled down in the Asian community, Walnut Grove, they were told that foreigners cannot own their land (California’s Alien Land Law of 1913), two years later, the “California Dream” was burned into ash —- Walnut Grove community was destroyed by fire in 1915.

In this society, every law is trying to prevent you from finding a small place as home on this vast land. Chinese didn’t give up. They sought help from the Locke family and moved to Locke Town. They built their home on this land, although have to rent it maybe for their entire life. After that, Locke Town became an entertainment center with gambling houses, cafes, bars, and Chinese restaurants. After World War II, the second generation starts to move out for more opportunities. Locke Town was retiring. In 1952, California Alien Lands Law had been ruled unconstitutional. They finally could have their hometown on the land that has accompanied them for most of their lives. It’s not the end, the unequal treatment of Asian immigrants never ends. Not only Chinese but also Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Indian...

When I look through the process of creating my project, maybe “思乡” I feel not only just missing that fantasy land, but also the helplessness and hurt I feel in this strange land, and this feeling constituted an important part of “思乡”. Standing in front of the history of a Chinese immigrant, innumerable “思乡” echoed the different parts of history, at this moment, my expression, and my feeling becomes consolation, for me, for the people have the same feeling in the future. If my clumsy expression could make audiences from different cultures, countries, and ages have even a little resonance, I would say all the time and energy I spend is worth it. I want to end with a poem by Hu Cui, which is also the source of the project name, this poem is translated by a venerable translator Yuanchong Xu.

Written in a Village South of the Capital

Hu Cui

This Very day last year, oh, at this very place,

A pretty face outshone the flowers of peach trees.

I do not know today where shines pretty face;

Only the pretty flowers still smile in vernal breeze.

There are uncountable new and old Chinatowns in the US and even more Asian immigrant gathering areas.

The blossom still...

花儿依旧

崔誉舰

从我踏上北美大陆开始，我就感受到了“游子”的心情。“游子”这个概念是源于中国汉代《汉书·高帝纪下》，后来便指生活在他乡的人。而与游子牵连最多的，便是“思乡”。我们可以把思乡拆成两个字，“思”是想念，“乡”就指的是家乡。家乡似乎在许多中国人的心中有着很深刻复杂的情感，那模糊的感觉似乎总是牵连着我们。哪怕我远渡重洋，来到了完全不同的大陆，接受了完全不同的文化，那难以道尽的情感（便是“思乡”）却总是如海浪一样，无休止地拍击着我无根的心。我如何去让你感受我所感受的“思乡”呢？单纯的拆解与分别解释无法表述出这个词背后对于我的丰富情感。我知道这很难用我苍白的文字“翻译”出来，但我希望我拙劣的表述能够让你了解到一点点这个词对于我的意义，建立一个属于我们之间的桥梁：

“思乡”于我来讲是看到中秋的月亮高挂，我知道我与我的家人都在欣赏同样的时刻，即使不在同样的时间

“思乡”于我来讲是热气腾腾的饺子端上来的那一刻，我的眼镜被蒙上一层轻柔的雾

“思乡”于我来讲也是流浪在荒漠中，心里对温暖安定环境的强烈渴望

如果你能在这一小段文字中抓住一丝丝难以言说的情感，那我想你应该能了解我“思乡”的心情。

我并不孤独，那些与我一样第一次踏上这个大陆的华人，他们拥有着与我一样，甚至可能比我更浓烈的“思乡”情感，我们都有着各自的梦想，各自的理由留在这片陌生的土地，试图在这里通过努力获得回报，并且在异国他乡找到一些“家乡”的感觉。这样的感情让我们跨过了时间、空间、身份连接到了一起，我试着走过我的前辈们走过的路，拜访他们住过的城镇。在这个过程中，我也在找寻着自己，并且在这段旅途中重新思考“思乡”对我的意义。

1848年，当金矿在萨特磨坊被发现的消息传遍了整个美国的时候，在大洋彼岸的中国也同样掀起了“淘金热”，许多中国人在当时动荡的社会下被迫背井离乡，试图去往这个传说中“金子遍地”的地方寻找机会。他们漂洋过海，到了“金子遍地”的加州，却发现这里并不能得到黄金，只能得到歧视。中国人只能去白人不想要的矿区采矿，没有采矿权，甚至相传有一句话来表明中国人在采矿上的成功概率很小“chinaman's chance”，这句话也被西弗吉尼亚的州长Jim Justice引用在公开场合中的谈话。

1862年，美国政府开始计划修建大陆铁路，最重要的一条之一是从加州的Sacramento到美国中部的西部铁路。但由于会经过西部的山，工人们经常需要在山区恶劣的自然条件和地理条件下修路，这常常伴随着生命危险。太平洋公司的管理人员之一Charles Crocker决定试用一批华人工人，从那之后，白人领导人意识到华人愿意修其他工人不敢修的路，愿意领更少的工资，也更容易听从指挥。于是太平洋铁路公司开始大量使用华人工人，可以说华人工人给铁路修建以及以后的加州建设提供了重要的帮助

在铁路修成之后，不少华人工人又紧接着被雇佣到San-Joaquin Delta修筑堤坝，华人的帮助也改善了这个区域的环境，让这个区域成为了重要的农业区。但华人并没有得到应有的待遇，他们在亚洲移民社区walnut grove安定下来后，突然被告知外国人不可以拥有自己的土地（California's Alien Land Law of 1913），仅仅两年后，一场大火彻底将“加州梦”烧成了灰烬，walnut grove社区在1915年的大火中毁灭了。

这个社会的每一个法律都在针对你的身份，拼尽全力阻止你在这片广阔的土地上找到一小块土地建立自己的家。我的前辈们没有选择放弃，他们向Locke家族寻求帮助，移居到了Locke小镇，以租住的形式使用着这片土地。这里一度成为繁荣的娱乐小镇，拥有赌场，酒吧，咖啡厅，药草店……直到二战结束，Locke镇才逐渐衰落。第二代华裔美国人开始去往更广阔的天地寻求机会

在1952年，California Alien Land Law被判定为违宪。他们终于可以在这片陪伴了他们大半生的土地上拥有一个属于自己的家乡。

这个故事还远远没有结束，亚洲移民在所遭遇的不公对待从未停止，不止是华裔，还有日裔、韩裔、越南裔、印度裔、菲律宾裔等

我回看创作的过程，也许我感受到的“思乡”的感情，并不是只是简单地怀念那片土地，也是因为在这片陌生的土地上所感受到无依无靠，处处碰壁的滋味，也许这样的滋味也是许多来到这片土地的移民的心情，这样的心情构成了“思乡”的重要一部分。回顾华人移民的历史，无数的华人移民的思乡之情在不同的历史节点上遥相呼应，在这一刻，我的心情，我的表达也成为了一个对我自己，对后来人的一个安慰。

如果我笨拙的表达能够让不同文化背景、国别、年龄的观众有哪怕一点点的共鸣，那我所付出的时间，精力都是值得的。

我想用崔护的一首诗来做结尾，这也是这个项目名字的来源：

提都城南庄

崔护

去年今日此门中

人面桃花相映红

人面不知何处去

桃花依旧笑春风

加州如今有无数的新或老中国城，以及的更多的亚裔聚集区，花儿依旧……